Person: When will I get married? Priest: I don't know son! The computers are down!

The stomach and the human had a conversation. The stomach said, "I've been feeling acidic lately." The human replied, "Well, I did have that spicy burrito last night." ??

It got tense environment at the bar. You know why? Because the Past, the Present, and the Future all walked in and asked for a beer.

Chris: Hey, got a riddle for you. What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday? Sarah: Hmmm, I'm not sure. What? Chris: "Hoppy Birthday!" ??

A patient went to the doctor after she had stomach pain. Doctor: I've looked at your lab reports and I am afraid I have some bad news. Patient: Don't give me your lab nonsense, I believe in healing through cystals and they have never failed me. Doctor: Well, then we will do things you way. No need to raise your temper. Do you believe in astrology? Patient: I certainly do. Finally, you are talking some real shit. Doctor: What's your star sign? Patient: Cancer Doctor: Woah, what a coincidence.