Husband and wife: A relationship where one is always right, and the other is the husband.
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Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you're looking for a club and a spade.
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My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
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"Marriage is finding someone to annoy for the rest of your life," said a married man.
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Sibling 1: "Our parents are like Google." Sibling 2: "Why's that?" Sibling 1: "They always have an answer, but half the time it's not what you were looking for!"??
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