"Success is not the key to happiness. The key is to get a room with your gf in it is. ??️"
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"It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up. And if you still have the bottle in hand . ??"
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Man to his fingers before having sex: I'm counting on you!
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"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving. But also avoid assholes. ?♂️"
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Boss (Human): Mr. Sloth, any progress? Sloth: Yes, I've mastered the art of moving at the speed of spreadsheet.
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