Mother: Please turn down that music! Son: But Mom, it's research. I'm studying the effects of musical vibrations on furniture integrity.
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Dad: Why won't you wear a jacket? It's freezing outside! Son: I'm embracing my inner human popsicle. I'm auditioning for the "Frozen" sequel.
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Husband: Why is the baby crying so much today? Wife: Well, I told them about the whole "adulting" thing, and they're just overwhelmed by the future mortgage and laundry loads.
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My husband asked if I could make him a sandwich. So, I handed him two slices of bread and said, "Voila, you're surrounded by a sandwich!"
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My wife told me to do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward for me.
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