When Sarah woke up after a wild night out, she found a note that said, "You danced with a lampshade last night. It said you've got moves!"
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Danny was so drunk that he mistook a fire hydrant for a parking meter. He argued with it for ten minutes before realizing it wasn't accepting his coins.
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Lisa woke up with a sandwich in her hand and thought, "Well, at least I didn't drunk dial the pizza delivery guy again!"
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Wife: "Oh no, the children are coming" Husband: "I know. So am I!"
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After one too many, Mike tried to use his phone as a TV remote. He kept yelling, "Change the channel!" until his friend reminded him it was a smartphone.
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