The police officer pulled over a swerving car and asked the driver, "Do you know why I stopped you?" The drunk driver replied, "Because you've got fancy lights and I don't!"
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John tried to give a breathalyzer test to a lamppost, convinced it was a police officer on patrol. The lamppost didn't blow, but John sure did!
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As the police officer approached the slurring man, he asked, "Sir, have you been drinking?" The man replied, "Why, officer, is there a cocktail party nearby?"
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The police officer said to the drunk jaywalker, "Why did you cross the road?" The drunk replied, "To get to the other pub, officer!"
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"Can I call someone to pick you up?" the officer offered. She hiccupped and said, "Call Batman, maybe he can give me a lift in the Batmobile!"
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